Loss

I cried half of the way home today.  I was mourning the loss of friends and family.  I've noticed that several, several people have deleted me off Facebook and are no longer answering my attempts to contact them.  Ok.  That's their choice.  Some were hurtful, but expected.  Soon-to-be-ex-husband's best friend.  I love him, but yeah.  Others though?  Ouch.  Childhood friend, I've known since I can remember.  FAMILY members.  And I don't even know why they decided I'm not worth talking to anymore.  Adultery?  My increasing showing of the fact that I'm an atheist?   Just tired of my potty mouth?  Secretly in love with me and can't stand seeing my beautiful face anymore?

Anyway, then I remembered what Derrick always says to me.  People are going to do what they're gonna do, no matter how you feel about it.  So, take it in stride and don't worry yourself so much.  So, I had my cry, mourned my loss, and then thought, fuck em.  I'm human, I make mistakes, but I'm also generally awesome.  I have a shit ton of people still in my life that support me no matter how much I fuck up.  I have great friends and great family.  So, I want to say I appreciate those people.  My awesome friends--those I made in grade school, high school, at SWOSU, in NOLA, and those who are in school with me now.  You assholes know who you are.  And my amazing family, at least those that are left after the smoke clears.  Especially my father, who can seem to uncaring at times, but really came through for me in all of this and surprised the shit out of me.

So, I had my cry.  Then I picked up my foster cat from the spay clinic and headed home to good African food, a loving boyfriend, a soft couch, a warm doped up kitty, and a glass of red wine.  Now I'm going to go get ready for D's very first American soccer game.  He's super excited and I'm going to enjoy laughing while watching him dance around to Bob Marley in his cute soccer outfit.