Stunted

I am emotionally stunted.  I have no idea how to talk to people, and my ability to carry out a healthy, adult relationship is pretty shaky.  At best.  But I'm trying to learn, god dammit!  After the crash and burn and utter stupidity in the way I ended my last relationship, I'm determined to start out right with this one.  If it starts with a strong base and fails because of other reasons, we can say we gave it a real try. 

So, yeah.  The past week was one of me being super upset over a plethora of small things that added up to make a Big Thing, and I was then paralyzed by it and unable to talk about any of it.  Then it exploded into ugliness.  Then....we worked it out.  In a nice, talking it out calmly, listening to each other and each meeting in the middle kind of way that I've never seen happen before in any of my relationships (ha...this is only my third for godsakes).  It was brilliant.  So yeah.  I'm happy as a fucking otter (clams just don't look happy to me, otters are always out being awesome and having a great time).  I know its cheesy and barf inducing, but every day I'm excited that I get to go home and see this guy.  Every night I feel at home and safe because I get to fall asleep with him.  And I look forward to every weekend that I get to hang out with him, even if its just sitting on the couch.  I feel like no matter how much my (soon-to-be)ex-husband and I cared for each other, we fed off each other's bad qualities.  They were magnified when they were put together.  Now I feel like D and I bring out each other's good sides.  I exercise more because we both want to spend time outdoors.  I eat better because we enjoy cooking together.  I laugh more because he's ridiculous.  And so on and so forth.

So, maybe this old girl can learn new tricks?  Maybe everyone that told me their 30s were way better than their 20s were right after all.  My first year was stressful and poopy, but this year is going pretty damn swimmingly. 

In other news, we're going to Quartz Mountain tomorrow to hike and stay in the lodge for a super cheap winter rate. 

In other other news, I got the comments back on my pre-proposal and there is only one tiny portion one of my committee members wants me to change.  Another member (the one I look up to the most) just said "Great!  Nothing needs to be changed, I look forward to working with you and seeing how this project turns out!"  And a third gave me a detailed list of notes on every part of the paper, which is amazing and will really help me when I'm turning this little 2 page pre-proposal into a Big Fat 10 Page Proposal with References and all that shiz.  Yay!

Ok, off to inject mice, take retinas, and then go get groceries to take hiking.