Shit.

Yesterday I found out my nephew went to jail.  Possibly for a while.  And that the DA is pressing for his parents to press charges so that he can stay there longer.  And that the plan right now is for him to not come home again, because everyone in the home is afraid of him.  He's 17.

I'm angry.  Angry at his parents, angry at the school, angry at the counselors and police officers and probation officers and therapists and everyone in his life who has failed him up to this point.  Angry at the system, and how it is not able to handle difficult children.  Unable to see mental issues early in a child's life and help them when there is still room to help them.

This is a sweet kid.  And yes, it has been thrown around that he is only sweet when he needs to be and can be very manipulative.  It has been hypothesized that he may be a sociopath, without real empathy or normal emotions.  He's super smart, and knows that he is smarter than anyone else he lives with.  Smarter than any of his parents or step-parents.  But this is a kid that, from a young age, was made to feel unwanted.  He was passed around between 2 sets of parents that could not handle him and had no idea how to help him.  He had counselors and therapists that showed poor judgement.  He had adults that for most of his life talked about him while he was in the room, as if he couldn't hear what they were saying about him.

It just makes me so sad that in the end, everyone is giving up on him.  In the end, no one did the right things at the right time.  I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in particular.  This problem was additive.  I think that his parents feel that I'm putting the blame solely on them, but this isn't true.  For years they followed the advice of a shitty therapist, and they weren't educated enough to see that.  They have other children they were worried about as well.  They will never make parents of the year, but I do see that they tried.  It just sucks that in the end, this kid will probably end up in prison for much of his life.

What we need in this country is to fight for better mental health programs.  There is a horrible lack, and people that could be helped are not getting what they need.  Children are being treated by throwing a mix of pills at them, and hoping something will stick.  Good therapists, good facilities, are cost prohibitive for most families.  Sometimes they just don't exist.  You hope for the best when you sign up for the programs you can get/afford, but often these are awful or the employees just don't have the time to spend with these people.  You want to fight school shootings?  You want to decrease homelessness?  Start from the source, and get these people help before tragedy strikes them or they inflict harm on others.