I still have a lot of holdovers from my full-blown vegetarian, donating to PETA, crying over how no one recycles, spending all my money on Burt's Bees phase in undergrad. I believe in the phrase "if its yellow let it mellow." I feel awful when I have to throw away recyclables, and I've implemented a recycling program in our lab. I drink green smoothies for breakfast. I cut up old shitty socks to use as rags instead of throwing them away. Etc, etc, etc.
There's a few things though, that I would like to explain the reasons behind. I've probably already explained them several times in my life, but bear with me here, since they're important to me, dammit! I've lost a lot of the pure passion I had in my 20s, but I still feel it in relation to certain things (abortion and decriminalization of drugs being two I won't be discussing today).
Let's start with makeup and shaving, shall we? I first decided to throw away all my makeup and to stop my daily shaving when I read the book Reviving Ophelia--Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. Now, I haven't read this book since....oh, 2002 I believe, so I can't tell you much of what I learned from it. If I ever have a daughter, I will definitely revisit it. But what I do know is that it made me look over my own issues with low self esteem, and I decided to take action. See, for me, makeup was a mask that I put on when I felt that I wasn't good enough. It wasn't to accentuate my good feautures, it wasn't just to cover blemishes, it was to cover my real face because I felt it wasn't good enough. And shaving was always a source of anxiety for me. For one thing, I'm just awful at it. I don't have the patience. This makes me laugh now, but then, seeing hairs on my legs I had missed or knowing how fast my armpit hair grew and that I'd have a damn five o'clock shadow even when I shaved them in the morning before school made me feel like less of a girl, less of a woman. I put on makeup when I felt bad, and it did nothing to up my confidence. I shaved and felt like it was never good enough. So, after realizing these things, I vowed not to do them unless it was for myself, only myself, and only if it had nothing to do with low self esteem. I vowed to learn to love myself, love my face, love my hairy legs, love my hairy pits. And, over the years, I have definitely succeeded in these things. I'm not saying my self esteem is perfect, but I look in the mirror, and even though I still have acne at 30 (WHAT THE FUCK!? they promised it would be gone when I hit 20!) I see that my face is pretty, and I like it. I see my natural body hair and I see that is is not something that makes me less female, less woman. Its just me. (now....I do get rid of my facial hair...for those Sikh women who can see their beauty past their mustaches and beards, bless you....I don't think a beard would be attractive on me, and since I was born with dark hair I would have a nice little shitstache and gross patchy beard if I didn't take measures against them.)
I do wear makeup now occasionally, and I do sometimes shave (when I get to my most frequent periods, its still at most once a month for my legs and once a year for the armpits). But I'm blessed to have found men in my life that see my beauty and are thankful that it isn't covered with creams and powders. They like to kiss my face and not taste foundation or lipstick. Derrick made my heart sing when he first said "So you don't wear makeup? I like that." And when I asked him whether he would rather me shave more, he just told me that I should do what I feel like doing. Really, the only times I've found myself doing these things with the wrong intentions is when I'm having a girl's night. I find that girls are much more openly judgemental about these things. But, that's why I focus on surrounding myself with women who are awesome. :-P
The point of this is not to say that everyone should stop wearing makeup and embrace their true hirsute selves. What I truly want is for none of it to be a big deal. For no one to feel that they HAVE to shave their legs every day when summer hits. For no one to have to feel that the first thing they need to do in the morning is "put on their face". For everyone to do what they want to do when they want to do it and feel no pressure for fitting in with a certain standard of beauty. If you absolutely love putting on makeup and spending all your money and time on that shit, go for it girl! It can be fun! But if you wake up one morning and really don't feel like taking the time, go in to work bare faced and embrace it! If you are showering and realize your razor sucks, just leave those legs as is and rock it. Fuck society's expectations. Flaunt your beauty in the way that makes you feel most amazing. Don't hide behind anything. If you're at a Mardi Gras parade yelling for beads and the guy sees your pit hair and shakes his head at you (true story), flip him off, laugh, and go for the next fucking float. You got enough beads anyway.
I just want women to realize that they are all beautiful in their own way and that they don't have to spend all their time and money on creams, powders, surgery, tattoos, laser hair removal, tweezing, plucking, worrying, standing in front of the mirror scrutinizing, etc, etc, etc. Do what you want, when you want, and love yourself.
Note--I make jokes that my mother must have done something very wrong or very right in raising us, since her only daughter has hairy armpits, cannot for the life of her put on eyeliner, and has no idea how to style hair, while her only son shaves his entire body, and can actually walk in high heels.
Woah. Just found out the singer from The Weeknd has the same hair as Derrick, just shorter (and therefore, less crazy....and less awesome?).
Ok, I've rambled enough. I've spent far too many hours (on a Saturday) doing immunofluorescence staining and reading, reading, reading in preparation for my written proposal. So the brain is a bit fuzzy at this point.
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