Yesterday, I failed a test. Hell, I'm pretty sure I failed two tests. Now, we had around 7 tests, 6 of them take homes. One of those stupid take homes and the in class, I felt like a kindergartener being thrown into the SATs. I am not used to this.
We all are smart in different ways, I think. Sure, some people may only be smart in the way that they figure out how to survive while being a total jackass bum, but still. I happen to be really good at standardized testing--I LOVED the end of the year when we were younger and took all those stupid exams where you get to sharpen your #2 pencil and fill in bubbles for the day. Heaven, really. I'm also pretty damn good at last minute memorization. Learn the periodic table? All the bones in the body? The state capitals? Sure! I'll forget about it until about midnight the night before, but I will go into that bastard and get a damn A just about every time.
But, there are things I am not so great at. And I found out/was reminded of several of them for my first big exam period of graduate school. And it was hell! The night before, trying to finish my take homes, I melted into a big steaming pile of crazy weepy bitchiness and had a minor freakout on my poor boy who had been missing me for the 4 days I was gone to Colorado. So, I put myself to bed and set my stupid god damn alarm for 6am so I could get up, finish, and go in to take the other test.
And I walked in, read over the 5 questions on the exam, that were all on the same thing that he spent 3 powerpoint slides on (out of 90), that I looked over for maybe 30 seconds of the total 4 hour study time, and I thought, "Well shit. What should I do if I fail out of school in the first week?" And then spent the rest of my sleep deprived day barely paying attention to my work and being pissed off.
So, I went home and watched the last episode of RuPaul's Drag Race (amazing.), and thought, fuck it. What happens happens. But I will say that failure is not the greatest feeling, but I guess we all need it sometimes. Right?
Probably not.
This wasn't a very funny post, more whiny, so here is a picture of how I want my next husband to propose to me:
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